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The Relapse

by Tatius Wolff

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1.
Auxilium 04:35
2.
The Shock 07:12
From the darkness I reside, Waiting for my time, I hide. I'll be your victor, I will lie, The cause to loathe and despise, Waiting for my time, I hide, In the darkness where I reside. Didn't see you coming, decimated by surprise. Left me shattered and reeling, completely fooled by my own lies. Pick up broken pieces, in the mess after the pain. Reassemble shards and fragments, I must get back up and walk again. I attack least you suspect, This one power you must respect. My prowess a perfect crime, Down to the hole you cannot climb. I'll take you down, one step in time. One wrong move and you'll be mine. Didn't see you coming, decimated by surprise. Left me shattered and reeling, completely fooled by my own lies. Pick up broken pieces, in the mess after the pain. Reassemble shards and fragments, must get back up and walk again. Pick up broken pieces, in the mess after the pain. Reassemble shards and fragments, must get back up and walk again.
3.
Recovery 03:43
Pick myself back off the ground, Battered, bruised and barely sound, Get my bearings, a place to see. Trekking back to normality. Pace myself and recuperate, Change my ways and recreate. To convale and awaken, resume and unlearn. Renewal, revival, resurge and return. Back to normality, I come back full term. Just shadows of the past, a history interned. A thousand mile ambitious journey. First step today, a cry for mercy. To convale and awaken, resume and unlearn. Renewal, revival, resurge and return. Back to normality, I come back full term. The past they are just shadows, a history interned. To convale and awaken, resume and unlearn.
4.
False Hope 04:21
You told me, to change my ways, No more excess, no more malaise. But it was nothing, a fluke event, Just a bad day, to a lesser extent. Just a bad day, to a lesser extent. Deluded to a sense of false hope, You really think you are clear. You think you're all past it now, And you've nothing to fear. Well let me tell you old fool, You really don't have a clue. Cause I'm impatiently waiting, Bent on seeing this through. Now throw caution, to the wind, Again invincible, all care I rescind. Return to old, and former deeds, Hedonistic pleasures that far exceed. Life is good and all is well, Distant past, a former cell. So long ago, so far away, No chance in hell, was it here to stay.
5.
The Relapse 03:33
Don't move and there will be no pain. Lie still, hope you find refrain. A dull ache all those remnants of pride. Don't sigh, cause I'll have you again. I thought it was over, how wrong could I be. You waited in darkness, for me to set you free. Don't breathe, there won't be relief. Don't stare, close your eyes make believe. That sickness, bloated inside. Don't sleep, don't run and don't hide! I thought it was over, how wrong could I be. You waited in darkness, for me to set you free. One wrong move, just a matter of time. I got you good, not even a chance, Played it perfect, can't stop my advance. One wrong move, just a matter of time. Got no control, your body is mine!
6.
Proelium 02:56
7.
Trauma 05:18
My ability to move rapidly, always leaves you a step behind. Constantly my target, pursued forever blind. Always dispersed, too many to count, impossible to pin. No emotion to cloud my actions, my burning strength within. We are many, not one. No leader to take down. No passion, no hero, no king wearing a crown. Patience and caution achieve all we need. Consider our options, momentous action we feed. You cannot stop us, your Empire will fall! Unto the death, your Empire will fall! Ultimately your failure, your Empire will fall. We make quick decisions while you wait for reply. Small quick wins are where our successes lie. One conscious, one system, one rule of law. Poor judgement repeated, dealt swift and for all. You cannot stop us, your Empire will fall! Unto the death, your Empire will fall! Ultimately your failure, your Empire will fall.
8.
I thought about you today, although I couldn’t remember your name. The hurt on your face, hate scarred and pained. And you keep it all inside. Yes you keep it all inside! Keep it all inside! You despised my presence, unprovoked attacks, Relentless in anger, so cruel and black. Insecurities so, regrettably shamed, Part of you, just like me, I feared most untamed. The damage rebuilt, repaired in full, What I did and said, were the actions of a fool. Courage to be true, something I could never do, Let alone expose the part of me, that was just like you. And you keep it all inside! Keep it all inside! Keep it all inside! Fight me coward! Just turn around! I want to give you a piece, so stand your ground! Show me some courage! Bet you can't find a thing! Maybe you'll stop being scared, stand up and take a swing! I'll keep on pushing! I'll knock you down! All in the hope, that you'll stand up and wear that crown! Don't be the victim! Or despair personified! Stop doing what you always do, and keeping it all inside! And you keep it all inside! Keep it all inside! Keep it all inside!
9.
Despair 04:16
I hold onto the last piece with every breath that I take. I look around, to see it all come crashing down. All around me, right beside this bed of mine. I’ve been here before - a familiar sort of place. Don't say a word, don't look me in my face. Hold me, guide me, while this world is crashing 'round me. Looking for a fix to the problems of my world, Eternal fighting, and sniping, politics unfurled. There's no room for mistakes, no space to get it wrong. With every slip you'll feel it, every hurt so strong. Such a simple thing, how complex it became. A small obscure moment, so devastatingly reclaimed. To push away and hurt, those closest to your heart. Your best intentions, will simply tear you apart. I hold onto the last piece with every breath that I take. Hold me, guide me, while this world is crashing 'round me. Hold me, guide me, while this world is crashing 'round me. I hold onto the last piece with every breath that I take.

about

This concept album is the story of being suddenly stuck by a debilitating illness, and the journey through the trials, tribulations, hope and despair.

I found myself hospitalised October 2017 with an intestinal infection, later diagnosed as Diverticulitis. This after years of never really having to visit the doctor apart from cholesterol tests and the odd check-up. This was a huge shock to me - 6 weeks past 44 and I'm in hospital with life changing health issues. But this first instance was just a sample. In hindsight, I wasn't really treating this change with as much respect as I should have been.

Another 5 weeks later, I'd be back in hospital with a bowel obstruction, a lot of vomit and a pipe through my nose to my stomach. During those 6 days, it really hit home how out of control I was with this health issue. At one stage, I thought I was in there for the long haul, as I didn't feel like I was getting better anytime soon. I felt like shit. Feeling insignificant and irrelevant to the scheme of things, I realised it was all completely out of my control.

credits

released June 8, 2019

All songwriting, instruments and production by Stephan "Wolff" Borg

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Tatius Wolff Sydney, Australia

Alternative 90’s inspired Metal; gothic, melodic and progressive. Founded in 2017, Tatius Wolff is the alternative metal solo project of Stephan ‘Wolff’ Borg inspired by Type O Negative, Tool, Nine Inch Nails and Deftones. Tatius Wolff creates a metal soundscape that results in a unique blend of dynamic metal music, switching between quiet interludes, angry heavy riffs and thick bass lines. ... more

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